We received the following account from Reader George Pejnovic, a Serb who lives in Niagara Falls, Canada.
It is with a certain amount of hesitancy and trepidation that I write and submit this article, fearing, first of all, that I will inadequately relate this remarkable and true account, and secondly, questioning whether the account will be properly understood and believed by those who read it.
In April of 1993, I had the wonderful privilege of seeing the miraculous myrrh-streaming Iveron Icon of Montreal for the first time. Jose had brought the Icon to the Russian Orthodox church in Hamilton one evening, where there was a small group of about forty or fifty parishioners that had gathered for the Akathist. Having known about the Iveron Icon for a number of years, it was with great excitement and anticipation that I waited amongst the faithful for its arrival, reflecting upon the fact that I was soon to have the blessed and good fortune of seeing and venerating this God-given treasure, like so many had done before me. I was also thinking about some of the fascinating descriptions I had read earlier concerning the extraordinary miracles that had already occurred through this wonderworking image. Except for once – nothing supernatural or miraculous had ever occurred in my life; at least, nothing that I could remember or was aware of.
When Jose had finally arrived with the Icon, it was carefully and reverently placed in the center of the church, and it was then that the Akathist hymn to the Iveron Mother of God began. Even from a distance, the beautifully fragrant myrrh was quite noticeable, and a great consolation to all those who were present. When the Akathist was finished, everyone venerated the Icon and received a small piece of cotton that contained some of the preciously scented myrrh. After I too approached the Icon, I took the liberty of taking a number of pictures of it, and then simply stood near it, praying and marveling at its incredible beauty. After some time had passed, Jose approached me and began speaking to me. He impressed me as a wonderfully pious, gentle, and humble man.
After about a week or so, I had my film developed and was especially pleased with one of the photographs; so much so, that I decided to have it enlarged to measure exactly 18 by 20 inches, and framed with a gold colored metal and glass. The icon was then placed in the sanctuary of our church and blessed after it remained there for the traditional and customary forty days. Having brought the newly blessed icon home, I placed it in my bedroom where I had a number of other icons that made up my prayer corner, and it was in this room that I spent much of my time reading and in prayer.
By mid summer of that year, I felt a change coming over me. This change, however, wasn’t something that was new to me. I had experienced this feeling and this change before. In spite of all my efforts to avoid and ignore what was surely coming, I knew that I was lapsing back into an enormously serious problem with clinical depression that I had already battled – with respite - for eight difficult years. Only those who have suffered with chronic clinical depression can understand what a person and soul with this frightening and debilitating illness actually goes through. Medical professionals tell us that the problem stems from a complicated imbalance of chemicals in the brain, which can be treated - with remarkable results – by the use of certain medications. The Holy Fathers teach us that it is a spiritual illness that is demonically influenced and has much to do with the state and condition of one’s soul.
Be that as it may, and whether or not it was merely coincidental, my bouts with depression began very close to the same time that I became seriously involved with the Church. This involvement included a regular prayer rule, my attendance at all the divine services, a great deal of spiritual reading, and a growing love and fascination with Orthodoxy that my spiritual father said was God’s way of pulling me closer to Him.
As summer passed and the fall was quickly setting in, my depression grew increasingly worse. The only way I know of describing the unprecedented agony with any amount of accuracy is to simply say that it is a profound sorrow that is nothing short of an absolute foretaste of hell. At this point, it was even becoming difficult to manage the smallest and simplest tasks, and I was now spending more and more time in my room, desperately trying to sleep as the only way of avoiding and escaping this ominous and unrelenting pain.
Several months earlier, however, I began noticing something a bit peculiar about my new Iverson icon. Often times, in the early evening and late hours of the night, I would distinctly hear a slight “cracking-like” sound (similar to the sound that a small branch or dry twig makes when broken) that I was sure was coming from the icon, but would always dismiss as just a noise, like many other noises, that can often be heard in a home during the quiet hours of the night. As time went by, this continued to happen, but now, each time that it did, it would immediately draw my attention away from whatever I had been reading or thinking about, and would almost compel me to ask myself the nagging and persistent question: “Why does that cracking-like sound keep coming from the icon?”
It wasn’t until once in November, well after midnight, that something a little more sobering occurred. While I was lying in bed, helplessly dealing with a turmoil of anxious thought and unable to fall asleep or relax in any way, the icon suddenly “cracked” so hard, that I immediately felt chills throughout my entire body, and was so struck by what had just happened, that I quickly sat up, slowly crossed myself, and softly whispered, “Most Holy Theotokos, save me.” I then just sat there, and simply stared at the icon in the dark, amazed at what had just taken place. I had never experienced or even read about something like this before, but was now absolutely certain that there was definitely something significant and mystical about the cracking-like sound that was often coming from the icon. Nevertheless, fearing the skepticism of others, I kept all these things to myself.
It was now January of the following year when my depression finally began to lift, and it was so good to feel well again after the great agony and torment I had to suffer and endure for nearly six months. Now my interests, especially my love for reading, returned once again, and it was such a pleasure and delight to be able to read the many wonderful Orthodox books, journals, and articles that I had collected over the years.
One day, quite by chance, so to speak, I was at a friend’s home when I found an old copy of The Orthodox Word, published by the St. Herman of Alaska Brotherhood of Platina, California. As I began looking through that particular issue, I came across an article about the holy Great Marty and Wonderworker Menas of Egypt that I thought might be interesting to read. As I came closer to the very end of the article, I read the following about a miraculous icon of St. Menas in Boston that totally astonished and amazed me:
Many times the icon would knock – a phenomenon often associated with icons among devout Greeks. This actually happened when the lamp would go out, or when the family was to receive news or a letter. (The icon is still heard to knock on various occasions in the Monastery where it is now kept.)
A little further on I read:
Even in Detroit, the icon continued to knock many times, and this was witnessed by many, including a child who used to visit the pilgrim-grandmother (Aug-Sept 1967, Vol. 3, No. 4, p. 127).
Never before had I read or heard of such a “phenomenon,” yet this was exactly what was happening to the copy of the Iveron Icon that I had in my room, but instead of hearing a mysterious “knock,” I was often hearing a mysterious-like “crack.” Moreover, as if this discovery alone was not enough to make more than an incredible impression upon me, I found yet another striking similarity between the two miraculous Icons: St. Menas is commemorated on November 11/24, the very same day that the Iveron Icon of Montreal began to stream myrrh, and the very same day that the Iveron Icon and this miracle is now commemorated by the Russian Church Abroad. I always found it interesting to read about wonderworking icons and their related miracles, but this discovery and account left me so overwhelmed, that I then truly felt and believed that it was now safe to say that I actually had a copy of the miraculous myrrh-streaming Iveron Icon that had itself become miraculous in a truly mystical and mysterious way. “Oh, but Lord,” I would think to myself, “who would believe my report?” (Is. 53:1).
Summer had again arrived, but unlike the previous summer, things were relatively well with me, yet it was not to be so for very long. It was now in September that I again felt the impending doom of melancholy, and it was literally a repeat of all the previous agonizing episodes that I had already suffered and gone through. My thought process was slowing down; I was losing a great amount of energy; my enthusiasm for all the things that I usually enjoyed and loved doing diminished considerably; and my eating and sleeping patterns were becoming disrupted. I knew full well that it was only a matter of time before I would again be experiencing and battling an all out war with this vicious and brutal illness. It had returned once more, adamantly refusing to depart or allow me any measure of peace.
The following account is unquestionably one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life, and is, in many ways, so difficult to believe and comprehend, that if I hadn’t experienced it personally and firsthand, I’m quite sure that I wouldn’t be able to fully understand or grasp such an amazing miracle and occurrence.
It was a cold, weekday evening in November of 1994 that I reluctantly began reading my evening prayers. I use the term “reluctantly,” because when suffering from clinical depression, as I’ve explained earlier, a person’s will and resolve literally become paralyzed, when even the mundane and simplest tasks of everyday life become unimaginably hard to accomplish. It was, therefore, with the greatest pain and effort, that I began reading my prayers, reminding myself, as it were, of how critically important and mystically powerful prayer is, and how much, indeed, I had to persevere in order to receive help or mercy from God. Yet I had no strength; I was too sick; I was too weak; and I was far too overwhelmed with sorrow and despair and the desire to stop praying. Nevertheless, I stood at the foot of my bed and began to recite the Prayer to the Venerable Cross. As I did, however, it seemed as though the more I prayed, the more depressed that I became. At this point, the pain and struggle proved too much for me, and I had lost the little strength that I had. Halfway through the prayer, I decided that I had to stop, but at that very moment – something wondrous occurred: the Iveron icon suddenly “cracked,” and at the absolute very moment that it did – the depression was gone! The depression had left! There was no more pain! My health was fully restored! I stood rooted in absolute, utter disbelief! How- in less than a second – could a deep, serious, and debilitating depression, that tormented and troubled me for nearly three months – be healed in an instant, as thought it had never been? I was stunned at what had just taken place. My God, the relief was enormous, but at the same time, it left me somewhat shaken. I was sure that the Mother of God was truly present.
Somehow managing to finish my prayer rule, I sat down and stared at the icon with unusual wonder, asking myself repeatedly: How could this be possible? How could the depression and heaviness have left so quickly? How could I have been healed of such a hellish and frightening ailment in such an extraordinary and unexpected way? Who would ever believe that this actually occurred to me since I had no way of proving it? I was a miserable, broken, and hopeless wretch, yet I was instantly and amazingly restored to perfect health through a photographic reproduction of a miracle-working icon. All of this served to reaffirm my faith and belief in all the miracles worked through the Iveron Icon that I had read about so eagerly. How could I ever again doubt that with God and through the prayers and intercessions of His Holy and Most Pure Mother, all things are truly possible? I cannot describe the comfort and ease that I felt afterwards. It was far beyond anything I could ever have hoped for. From darkness to light, and from sorrow to joy. Indeed, all things are possible with God.
I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to the Most Holy Mother of God. Perhaps by sharing this unique and miraculous experience with others, many will be convinced not to lose heart in whatever difficulties, pains, or hardships they may have to face in life.
All of us, without exception, have crosses to bear. For some reason, some bear crosses that are much heavier than others. St. John Chrysostom wrote that no one is free of suffering, even if one were to strive without end. As Orthodox Christians, however, we should always have in mind that the infinite wisdom of God orders and arranges the life of every individual, knowing exactly what is needed and beneficial for each one of us, and even when facing a tumult of adversities, regardless of how troublesome they may be, we can always find shelter and aid through the grace and protection of the Most Holy Mother of God.
St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco assures us that the Most Holy Theotokos sees every tear, hears every groan, and listens to every entreaty directed to Her. St. John of Kronstadt taught that when we are about to pray to the Holy Virgin, we should be freed from any doubt that we would depart from Her without having received help. When the desert-dweller Fotina was brought to the brink of despair through a fierce struggle with diabolical thoughts, she begged the Heavenly Queen to take her from this life. After an immense war with the troubling, demonic assaults, the Mother of God appeared to her and spoke to her through the depths of her soul, saying, “Don’t be afraid of anything, place your hope on me.” Immediately, the darkness that engulfed her soul dissipated and left her heart filled with joy. And the venerable and much loved St. Seraphim of Sarov said that the Mother of God is an invincible and insistent intercessor even fro the most desperate sinner. It is impossible, he said, for a demon to destroy a man as long as the man himself has recourse to the help of the Most Holy Mother of God.
Needless to say, the wonderworking Iveron Icon will always be a marvelous reminder of the remarkable miracle that took place in my life. I will always have a great love and veneration for it as a sure testimony of my own healing.
To all those who may be suffering infirmities or troubles of any kind, I sympathize with you wholeheartedly. Naturally, many things are much easier said than done, but I would encourage all of you never to lose hope. It has been proven time and again throughout the history of the Church that those who patiently trust in the Mother of God, will never be disappointed. With Her there is mercy, with Her there is love, and with Her there is great optimism and joy.
No matter what sorrow might befall you, No matter what sickness might strike you, No matter how unbearable your family life might be, Or how unstable your position at work – In all these circumstances Turn to the Queen of Heaven, And with tears beg Her to help, And She, our Sovereign Lady, will hear you And help you in everything. Remember that for Her there is nothing impossible.
The Testament of Abbess Rufina of Harbin (1943)
Reader Georg Pejnovic 27 June – 10 July 2006